I had a SCAD and cardiac arrest at home when my daughter was seven. Everyone is different, but below are some things that helped my family deal with the SCAD.
Being honest…
and giving information appropriate to her age and level of understanding....
On the first night my husband Dan was told I probably wouldn't make it and, if I did, I may have brain damage as my heart stopped for 17 minutes. He had to have this conversation with Katie as she obviously wanted to know if I'd be OK and he couldn't give her false hope. He explained everything in simple terms and answered her questions as best he could. We carried on with this approach throughout; always explaining things to her and answering her questions no matter how often she asked them. If we didn't know the answer, we were honest about that too, for example when she asked if it would happen again we were honest and said it was unlikely but it was possible. As a result, she definitely trusts us to tell her what is going on and she knows we're not hiding things, which does reduce her anxiety. She's a very imaginative little girl and if we hid things from her she would worry more.
Including her in my recovery...
She visited me in hospital and Dan encouraged her to talk to me and hold my hand when I was unconscious. When I got home, I was in a wheelchair at first but we all went out for walks together and she pushed the chair. We progressed to walking together then cycling. She was allowed to attend two cardiac rehab sessions with me too as she was very anxious about me exercising again.
Keeping/getting back to normality as soon as possible...
Dan got her back to school two days afterwards. This helped her enormously as it gave her something else to think about and a sense of normality. Seeing her friends really helped and, as soon as they found out what happened, they invited her for tea and playdates which really kept her busy and distracted her. As soon as possible after I got home, we tried to put all the normal daily routines back in place, such as breakfast together, playing in the garden after school, tea together, playing games or drawing after tea then shower and story before bed.
Communication with school...
It was important that school knew what was going on and that Katie knew she could talk to her teacher if she was feeling upset or worried at school.
Having a break...
It helped Katie to spend time with friends and family away from home because her anxiety was highest around me. She was constantly watching me and could ask me multiple times each minute if I felt OK. When she wasn't with me, she relaxed and enjoyed herself.
Challenges
Anxiety...
At the time and for a few months after she was very anxious around me. She watched me constantly, asked me endlessly if I was OK and was always coming downstairs after bedtime or through to our room in the night to check on me. The things that helped with this were reassuring her (that I was taking all my medication and doing what the doctors had told me to do and that we knew what to do if I didn't feel well again), being honest with her (so she knew if I said I was OK that I meant it) and including her in my recovery. She also used a worry monster when I was in hospital – a cuddly monster with a zippy tummy where you can write your worries and put them in his tummy to be eaten up.
Health anxiety...
This started recently and we weren't expecting it. She got a nasty cold and ended up having panic attacks as she thought it was something serious. We're dealing with this by talking to her about why she feels this way, what panic attacks are and why they happen and teaching her breathing techniques (she uses a laminated hand to help her breathe in and out slowly five times) and to challenge her worrying thoughts. Again, communication with school has been vital here.
Sleep was an issue for a while but a combination of calming, coloured lights and relaxing music along with time has helped with this.
(Note: picture posed by models)
